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Healing is Acceptance

If you're here, it's not because you're looking to heal a broken arm, cut, burn, or, or, or ....

Then again, if you're familiar with aromatherapy or even interested in natural remedies, you may be seeking ideas for how to heal a rash, finally get some sleep or possibly manage your migraines, yet I'm no longer that kind of aromatherapist.

I used to be. And that was because the idea of helping people fix their health-related problems really did a number on my sense of self ... in an uplifting way. Over time, I was accepted into the community of healers which was a booster shot for my ego. I needed to be needed and unbeknownst to me, it was the perfect fix for my unhealed pain.

While being one of many go-to solutions for relieving the aches, pains and maladies of others lightened my heart, I couldn't sustain it without work. So, I worked ... a lot. And of course when you're treating symptoms, there's always another to manage at some point down the line ... making business and busyness increasingly self-serving.

I simply transferred my addiction to cocaine onto a career path that fed my need to belong and be needed.

Although I was living a clean life of service, I wasn't healed. I was relieved of the need to use a drug which only temporarily cured the pain of not feeling ok. Yet despite the cultural belief around drug use (try having a conversation with AI on it and you'll get a super good dose of stigma), drugs whether recreational or pharmaceutical do cure pain, but in no way does this mean you're healed. You're mended. OR, better said, you're numbed.

Cures clear the problems.
Healing accepts the problems as they make themselves known. Healing is a connection to a wisdom that produces relief from the pressure of trapped inspiration ready to be expressed.
If this doesn't make sense to you, stick with me for a few minutes because everyone has their drug of choice.

In my head, I held the belief that I was born to the wrong family, at the wrong time as well as on the wrong planet. Don't laugh. I'm not joking :D

Something was drastically wrong with my world and instead of knowing how to address the issue OR myself, I eventually opted to soothe the heart wrenching pain of feeling punished by God with an eating disorder and 'coke'.

Some might say I wanted to die. Yes and no. I actually LOVED being alive. I still do. I simply objected to the placement. So, my only escape was to create a false sense of belonging with other people also feeling the pain of human existence, or at the very least questioning it.

Fortunately, something DEEP within pulled even though the pain was pushing me towards a grave.

The trouble with food continued BUT I gave up the drugs. Maybe it was my dive into pharmacology. My head was lit up with knowledge, and I saw potential. The vision spoke volumes and I followed every step that was presented ... which included essential oils.

Yet the biggest reward through this journey was approval. My family finally approved of what I was doing!

The interpretation? Apparently, there was something wrong with me. All I did was flip the focus of the blame and cured my problem with a new drug. In my case it was study and research.

After completing my first round of college, and the birth of my two oldest sons, I became heavily involved in health and wellness. Helping people ... the honorable fix to a troubled life! Service ... a healthy addiction.

Who doesn't approve of people helping people! But there's a problem with referencing service as a healthy addiction. Society doesn't consider helping people to be an addiction. But if we did, my money's on the fact that it would be identified as a healthy one.

There is no such thing as a healthy addiction!

In my case, busyness numbed the gaping wound of being unacceptable as is. Serving others relieved the hunger pains of emptiness within me. This is infamously known as hindsight because I had no idea this was even going on within the depths of my being ... let alone know it to be a 'thing'. I was externally motivated for the first 25 years of my life!

Doing something meaningful for someone else delighted me with a false sense of happiness.

If you cannot be happy for no good reason, then the short-term experience is not unlike a drug. It's something you're using to manage your pain. UNTIL, you bear witness to yourself ..

True fulfillment and happiness are heart generated intentions made because ...

As a person that has spent most of her life bouncing between addictions (which I've historically called 'addictive behaviors' because I was wanting to be kind (another addiction I'll say more about)), to claim the experiences of happiness and fulfillment as detached choices is a big deal!

I was used to being spontaneous right down to my reactions. It was normal. Everyone around me lived this way. More often than not, you could tell when someone was unhappy with a situation. This was often followed by an understandable explanation as to why they were going shopping, kicking it on the couch, going for a run, or eating comfort food, or, or, or.

Self-soothing is part of our development as infants that somehow appears to have been thwarted for many of us...

Isn't this where the phrase 'water cooler talk' came from? People talking about their disappointments, frustrations, dissatisfactions and stress ...?!

Gossip, like kindness, is an addiction. Think about it for a moment, people coming together with a common thought and / or complaint. At least they're not alone in what they're thinking ... that deep need for acceptance has been aggravating their inner world and finally soothed with the reward of belonging.

As I mentioned earlier, kindness can easily fall into this category. Truthfully, anything you do out of a need to achieve rather than genuinely generate yourself, in my opinion, can turn into an addiction when automatically acted upon based on societal expectations and norms.

Healing is acceptance ... but not from anyone else. Healing is the gift of acceptance you give yourself because you can. It's a recognition that you are not just unique, but an embodiment of beliefs that serve you when needed. It's an acceptance that there is nothing wrong with you OR your life.

Healing accepts all that you've lived as information for generating your dynamic self through both difficult and awesome times!
Healing is life giving!
For the record, every belief has both a positive and negative aspect to it ... Healing accepts the yin / yang of life!

Healing is the acceptance that despite the pain you've experienced throughout this life as well as the generations before you ... that your body ... your DNA ... has recorded the energy of said traumatic events in order to equip you with the pertinent instincts for survival throughout the rest of your life.

AND, when you deliberately witness yourself and these automatic reactions / instincts you are giving yourself the gift of choice. You are harnessing this energy in order to identify which way best serves the moment.

You do what you do because you do and you are more than capable of taking responsibility, learning, growing as well as self-regulating when you choose to position yourself as the observer of your reactions and compare them to the generative possibilities.

Healing is acceptance of ALL that you are. It happens instantly and is something you can ... should you choose to do so ... experience everyday ... ALL day!

Healing is only a journey when you sit in the gap hoping something outside of you will pull you out. And that is the biggest addiction, I believe, humans face ... endlessly grabbing at straws hoping they will be rewarded for their efforts with the right fix for their pain.

Healing is pausing to graciously receive the life you've been given. That's acceptance.

So, to address why you're here ... reading this. Aromatherapy and healing.

Symptom relief was all I knew. It's all society has known for thousands of years. The knowledge we've gained as a result is astonishing yet does not give you or anyone what they're truly pursuing.

Chasing symptoms is addicting because it gives you and others a purpose. You're attending to a problem and resolving it. And, it was one of the big reasons I started to burn out. At some point, enough is enough and the pain begins to show itself through irritability, frustration, complaining, dissatisfaction, and so on.

My heart knew there was more to oils than opening a book and using them based on the thoughts of other people. So, I devoted years to researching the olfactory system and the unique properties of each oil as well as their neurological influence.

The more I played, the greater my understanding and it was through customizing my daily use of them that I became the observer of my own thoughts. That's when my issues with food stopped. It's when I discovered that I do have a choice in every matter and giving myself permission to take a break.

And above all, accept me as is. Accept my wisdom. Accept my quirks. Accept life as both the template and teacher for how to live.

I finally accepted my placement and embraced being alive!

If this resonates with you, I now offer Aromagenomics: a mentoring / coaching program that can be done 1:1 OR as a 'bring a friend' group. If you're interested, or would like to learn more, email me and let's talk! I'm happy to answer any questions!


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